Fireworks
by allsup
Summary: Hiding true feelings can lead to many complications. Will the true feelings between two best friends finally arise? Or will they continue to hide it? (Deztin)
1. Chapter 1

**Austin**

Looking at the children playing in the sand, the happy faces, especially those happy with the service that I have gave them, makes me not feel like a complete failure.

I know what you are thinking,

"But you're Austin Moon!"

"The famous pop star!"

But just so you're aware, even people who are famous, make mistakes too.

You must have heard about my background from someone, a magazine, or possibly the web. But they're wrong. The media only gives you interviews, pictures, and facts. They don't give you the real thing. They don't give you the _**real me.**_

You see, the media doesn't want negativity in their articles. So if you are famous, and have a problem, keep it to yourself. Even if the media doesn't like negativity, or bad reviews, they are insanely nosy.

But throughout this story, you will eventually find out the real me. The problems I face, and the love I share.

Ally giggles as I whisper a joke in her ear. I don't know if you know Ally, that's a stupid question, you _**have**_ to know Ally.

She is my song writer, and she is fairly good at it since most of them have become hit singles. And as you see in the magazines, she is also my girlfriend. You might be shocked hearing this but I never said that I loved her.

Let that sink in for a few moments.

Yes, in the magazines there are plenty of articles that claim that what we have is 'true love'. But, if it's true love, why is it that when I'm with her, I don't feel those fireworks or sparks that people in 'true love' say they get?

Of course everyone would go mad if 'Miami's cutest couple' breaks up. We've been dating for about a year and yeah, she's a great girl. Pretty, nice, a bookworm, overall a soft-hearted girl. I like her a lot.

I wouldn't say it's true love though.

Little did I know, my true love was next to me throughout my whole childhood.

"I'll let you get back to work now, okay?" Ally kisses my cheek and smiles.

I grin back. "Yeah, I'll see you later at Sonic Boom."

When Ally leaves, I continue watching everyone, having a great time at the beach. I don't really know why I work here. I have enough money as it is, being famous and all. But I don't want to be one of those famous pop stars who only cares about the money.

Money is important, but it's not the only thing people should worry about.

You have a whole life in front of you, why not live it?

My thoughts get interrupted when I get pulled into a strong embrace.

"Hi Austin!" A cheery voice says. I know that voice very well.

No one other except my best friend Dez Fisher.

"Hey buddy." We do our handshake.

Dez has been my best friend since God knows how long. Maybe kindergarten? Preschool?

He is a great guy. He is eighteen, like me, works at a smoothie shop in the Miami Mall, and hangs with Ally, her friend Trish, and I.

During our younger school years, Dez got bullied often. He was always so sad, and became distant from me for awhile. Eventually, he seemed like his old usual self, but I know he would always be traumatized by it. Dez isn't stupid. He acts it. That's something he would never tell me, and to this day, I still feel guilty by being a bystander and not helping him.

But there is something that I hate when I hang out with Dez. His girlfriend Carrie. She acts like she is stupid too, or maybe she really is. But anyway, she is always with him and it's so annoying. She's so clingy and I just want to tell her to back the fuck off cause Dez is _**mine.**_

I'm happy for him though, honestly.

Later on, I would understand why I had this hatred towards Carrie.

You see, if the media found out, hell would break loose.

 **Authors Note-**

 **hey guys! how do you like this story so far? I will try to update future chapters as soon as I can. I also have some Deztin fanfictions on WattPad. Check them out! normanreedusxo and koolkat5. Reviews and comments welcome :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Austin**

Seeing Dez always makes my day. I never really understood why.

Shouldn't Ally, my girlfriend, make chills run up my spine?

"Hey, Austin, wake up." Someone shakes my shoulder and I groan. Who can be waking me up this early? Suddenly, I feel myself being turned over and straddled.

My eyes flutter open and I see Dez, looking seductive as ever.

"Hi Aus." He bites my ear and my breath stops for a second.

"W-What are you doing?"

He palms me through my jeans. "What do you think I'm doing?"

I shoot out of bed feeling around frantically, where is Dez? Where did he go?

With one last look around, I realize that it was just a dream.

Is it bad that I wish it was a reality?

This is why you have to keep things quiet, if anyone found out, things wouldn't go as planned. And how would you know what people are thinking? They can be thinking all sorts of things. I know that in my articles, I say how you shouldn't care what people think, and to be your own person. But, why can't I do the same?

My phone starts ringing and I answer with a groggily, "Hello?"

"Austin, Austin!" Trish, Ally's best friend, shouts into the phone.

"Trish Trish!" I joke into the phone, not being aware of the situation at hand.

"Ally got hit by a car!"

"What?"

"Hurry to Miami Hospital!"

It's funny how your life can change in a matter of seconds, along with your feelings.

The realization hits me as soon as I walk into the hospital doors.

What if Ally is dead?


	3. Chapter 3

**Austin**

"Oh my God, Ally." I sigh as I let her pale white hand lay helplessly in my hand. Right now, she is asleep. She's alive, just asleep.

I know I didn't do anything but I just can't help but feel like I did. That always happens. In the end, however, it turns out that I did do something, even if it was one of the smallest things.

 _My dad looks at me with a scowl. "Look what happened. If you just stayed patient, then mommy wouldn't have fallen trying to get your cookie."_

 _"I'm sorry."_

A door squeaking startles me out of my flashback and turn around to see who came into the hospital room.

"Hi." Dez mumbles, looking at the ground. I sigh, he has always been a bit freaked out about hospitals.

His girlfriend, Carrie, who is with him, decides to speak up. "How's she doing?'

Like I could explain all the medical terms to her.

"She should wake up soon.'

"Well that's good." Dez smiles. "When does she discharged?"

"If she wakes up when the doctor predicted, then tomorrow."

Carrie laughs. "Yay!"

I glare at her.

"Alright, we should get going." Dez announces, and then looks at me, "I'll call you later?"

I nod, not really feeling like saying anything. Good thing though, Dez is leaving. I don't think he appreciates the dark aura.

The door shuts once more, and I look at Ally. Why haven't I paid more attention to her face? The clear, pale, softness. Almost transparent. Her face is calm and composed, like the feeling you get as a sweet summer wind grazes your skin, or when you feel relief.

That's it though, relief.

I hope this isn't a selfish thought but, when am I going to feel it?

"Austin?" The voice flows through my ears like sweet honey.

I open my eyes, and see Ally smiling at me.

"When did you wake up?" I ask, and sit up straighter.

"About twenty minutes ago. I didn't want to wake you."

My face reddens. "Sorry."

"It's fine really!" She smiles and then reaches for the table next to her. "I saw the cards that Dez, Carrie, and Trish left for me."

I nod, "Yeah they came earlier today. They're really excited for you to be discharged."

"How about a dinner?"

"What?" Confusion gets to me.

"When I'm discharged. We can go out for a dinner. It's been a while since we've all got together, don't you think?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

But really, I'm dreading it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Austin**

I've always hated dinners.

Sitting around, watching Dez and Carrie being all lovey dovey.

And having to pretend I enjoy their company. I know I sound like a total prick, but honestly, would you enjoy having to sit with your beard girlfriend, then watching the person you really like with their date?

I don't think so. If I'm the only person that feels this way, then there must be something wrong with me.

"You okay?" Ally caresses my arm.

I look at her and smile. "Everything's good baby, why do you ask?"

"You seem lost in thought."

"Do I?"

"Yeah. You know, you can talk to me."

"I know." I kiss her head, and at that time, the food comes.

"So, Ally," Trish pipes up. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Mm, yeah much better. A bit sore, but in a few days it will go away."

They continue their conversation, Carrie piping in a few times. With that happening, I take a glance at Dez and notice that he is looking at me. I blush and look away. I hear soft chuckling coming from him.

Damn, when have I become so flustered?

I take out my phone, and send him a quick message.

 **A: What was that for? You bastard..**

 **D: What was what for?**

 **A: Oh don't play stupid with me. I saw you staring.**

 **D: At what?**

 **A: Me! Who else?**

 **D: Oh yeah, I was casually looking at you. No staring.**

 **A: You were to staring! When I looked up, it seems as if you were staring at me for a certain amount of time.**

 **D: Did not!**

 **A: Did too!**

 **D: Did not!**

 **A: Ahh, feels like first grade all over again.**

We make eye contact and smile. Dez then turns off his phone, and puts it in his jacket pocket. I glare at him and send him another quick text.

 **A: Are you going to answer the question?"**

I hear Dez's phone buzz, but he doesn't take it out. He just looks at me with some sort of intensity. I can't tell if it's his answer or not.

"Aus, aren't you going to eat?"

I look over at Ally and then back at my place on the table. The food did come. Was I so distracted by Dez that I didn't notice it being right under my nose?

"Oh, Yeah, sorry."

We all begin eating, conversing about the random things that come to mind.

But when I get home that night, I can't help thinking about Dez's distractions.


	5. Chapter 5

**Austin**

"What is wrong with you today?" Jimmy asks me as we are done recording.

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't sound like your usual self."

Oh, that's just because I can't get Dez off my mind.

"I'm fine." I give Jimmy a smile. He looks at me questioningly and I hope that he doesn't see through my façade.

He sighs. "Alright. We'll pick up next week when vacation is over."

"Yes sir."

I make my exit almost in a hurry. What am I looking forward to though? Ally is working, Trish is probably sleeping, and Dez is... I don't even know what Dez is doing.

I take out my phone and send a quick text.

 **A: Hey Dez.**

 **D: Hiya Aus**

 **A: What are you doing?**

 **D: nothing much. Waiting for a bus.**

 **A: Where are you going?**

 **D: The mall.**

 **A: Want to hang out?**

 **D: Yeah sure, but at 6 I have to meet up with Carrie.**

 **A: Oh .**

 **D: Yeah, see you.**

I slam my hand on the steering wheel. Damn it! It's already 4:30. That means I only have an hour and a half to spend with him.

Why am I mad about that though?

A few minutes later, I arrive at the mall. I look around and groan mentally, 'Why didn't I ask Dez where he would be?' Luckily enough, Dez finds me.

"Austin!" He waves and comes over to me. We do our handshake.

"Dez!" I laugh, "What's up?"

"Ahh I just had to go through the worst thing."

"What?"

"So, surprisingly, Carrie is doing a photo shoot. And she asked me to buy this certain makeup. So, I go into the drug store and go in the makeup isle. When I was looking through the selections, a group of women started looking at me weirdly and laughing. So I left."

I start laughing hysterically and I wouldn't be surprised if I attracted the attention of most of the people in the food court.

"Did you get anything?"

"No"

"C'mon, I'll buy it for you."

"Wait!" He screeches. "I don't want you getting laughed at."

"Oh stop," I wave my hand at him, "Everyone will just think it's sexy that _the_ Austin Moon is getting makeup."

Dez chuckles silently and I can't help but wonder if I said the wrong thing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Austin**

As soon as Dez and I walk into the drug store, I am greeted with a mob of fan girls.

"Austin Moon!"

"Oh you're so hot!"

"Marry me!"

I chuckle. "Now now, I have to get some things done. I wish I could stay and see all of your pretty faces."

Shoot, score.

All of the girls start spilling out apologies on how they got in my way and I groan quietly. Will they stop?

I smile at them. "Until next time?"

They all squeal and I use that chance to escape with Dez. We reach the makeup aisle, panting slightly.

"I don't think I will ever get used to you being famous." Dez laughs.

"Me either."

We get the makeup and as we're walking in the mall, I begin to tune Dez out. Carrie this, Carrie that.

In fact, I was so spaced out I didn't realize Dez has pulled me into a stall in the boys' restroom.

"D-Dez?"

His lips are suddenly on mine, moving almost hungrily. Like a lion eating it's prey.

"Until next time?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Austin**

He kissed me. We kissed.

But he has a girlfriend.

And I have a girlfriend.

But aren't rules meant to be broken?

Wait... what if Dez doesn't even like me? Maybe he just kissed me because he noticed that I was indeed stressed. But if he didn't like me, he wouldn't have said 'until next time?'.

I didn't realize Ally has been shaking my arm for more than five minutes trying to get my attention.

"Austin."

"Oh yeah, sorry, what is it?"

"Do you want to go out for lunch?"

I nod. "Yeah sure."

We begin walking out of Sonic Boom and I ponder over the thought if I should bring up what happened with Dez. I don't think she would get that mad though. There are plenty of other guys she could get. But then the media would question what happened, and follow me around to see who will be in my next relationship.

Either break up with Ally and be happy with Dez, or hide it.

Hiding it seems like the better the option.

"What are you thinking about?" Ally asks me and I look at her in confusion.

"I'm not-"

"Don't lie," She interrupts. "Tell me."

The truth wouldn't be the best thing to suddenly blurt out. Imagine how she would react. I'm usually bad with decision making, but when it comes down to it, I go with the easiest answer.

Lying.

"Just thinking about my next concert, and what kind of sandwich I want." I laugh and silently thank whatever god there is, for allowing me to lie so slickly.

After lunch I go back home, hoping to make some peace with myself.

It seems I can never be left alone however.

My parents were both home but thankfully, working. They rushed to and from their study to the dining room.

"Oh hey sweetie." My mom finally acknowledges me. "Dez stopped by before. I told him you wouldn't be long so he's upstairs."

Great, so long peacefulness. But, I do wonder why Dez is here. I walk up to my room and see him sitting on my bed. He quickly jumps up when he sees me enter.

"I broke up with Carrie."

My eyes widen as I shut my bedroom door. "What?"

"I just couldn't stay with her. You see, I always liked you Austin." He takes a deep breath. "But I never thought I would have a chance since you are Florida's most famous person. And then you also had Ally, so what did I do? I went out, seeking a girlfriend. I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, I would fall in love with her and forget about my feelings for you."

I watch as a tear rolled down his face. A heart-wrenching sight that my eyes couldn't bear to see.

"That turned out great didn't it?" He chuckles and looks up at me, expectantly.

"We can't."

"What?"

"You heard me."

Dez looks taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"You said it yourself. I am the most famous person in Florida, and growing. I have a girlfriend and.. this just won't work out. We're best friends. And..." I sigh and my body shakes, "I'm not even gay."

"Why didn't you say this yesterday? I thought that maybe..." He trails off.

"That I would feel the same?" I finish for him. "Well, that was just stupid of you."

"I can't believe your saying this. You kissed me back yesterday! And now you're saying that you aren't even gay? I broke up with Carrie.. I.. I- I came out to my parents and my dad hates me now!" Dez shouts at me. "And what happened to your staring? And.. and.."

"Your mistake."

"How can you be saying this?" He takes a few steps closer to me and cups my face in his hands. "Are you just scared?"

I crumble under the pressure of his intense stare and fall into him.

"I can't Dez.." I mumble into his shoulder. He rubs my hair and whispers into my ear, "Well, you don't know if you never tried right?"

He kisses me for the second time that night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Austin**

It almost seemed like a dream. That Dez has had the same feelings for me, and that we would find a way. But I'm sincerely doubting it now.

Remember what I said about the media? Keep your private life, private. If you don't, they'll take what you said and change it into something totally different. And people believe that, sadly. Then there is Ally. The media will certainly try to get as much information as possible about our breakup.

Wait. Breakup?

I didn't even cut it off yet, and yet, I kissed Dez.

Most importantly though, what will happen to our friendship? Will she still want to remain friends? Or hate me because I'm gay and dating Dez?

Ally doesn't seem to be the hateful type, and I'm glad. No one should be hateful towards gays. Come on, all marriage is legal now and it's time to move on.

That reminds me. Dez had said that his dad was angry... another issue to solve then.

But what's the first step? Breakup with Ally, have the whole media find out, then ask Dez out? Or should it be the other way around?

I don't think Dez would like if I ask him out when I haven't even broke up with Ally yet.

All I'm certain about is that I have to make a move, and soon.

 **Authors Note-**

 **Sorry this chapter was so short. *Hides behind garbage canThis chapter was sort of rushed but used to see how Austin is feeling and what move he might make. Don't worry, next chapter will be longer and we'll find out what Austin will do. What do you think is going to happen? ;)**

 **Have a great day guys~**


	9. Chapter 9

**Austin**

Making my move is harder than I thought.

So, I finally made up my mind and decided what I want to do. Dez.

Before you think anything dirty, it's not like it sounds. I don't really know what I mean, or how to say it, but all I know is that I just want him.

But here's the problem.

I was about to break up with Ally when I suddenly realized that she has her own career, making music like me. And she will begin touring, so breaking up with her wouldn't be the best thing at the moment.

Then there is Dez.

You see, Dez loves film-making, and wants to find a good university that supplies what he needs to be successful. I was so caught up in worrying about what to do, and then recording at the studio that I forgot he told me he was going to be going up to Orlando for a month or so. I mean, it's not that bad. He's still going to be in Florida, but all the way north.

I don't think it's the right time to proclaim my everlasting love for him though. If I do, it would be complicated because I, still, haven't broke up with Ally, and it would be sort of a long distance struggle.

Then I have to think about myself. Since I am working on a new album, most of my time will be clogged up recording, and planning out dates for touring.

Everyone has their own thing happening. And I almost forgot that our adulthood is near, reminding us that it is time to face the real world.

Too bad childhood doesn't last forever.

But at least I have Trish.

Right?

Before I knew it, two months had passed. Dez came back but I still haven't had the chance to make my move; still not knowing how to even make it. Like, do I just go up to him and be like,

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Or,

"Wanna go out?"

And it's not like Dez isn't waiting. He must be. Another reason why I might have been avoiding him. I don't think I'm ready.

Unfortunately, there is still a problem.

I need to breakup with Ally and I haven't been able to since she is still touring. And I sometimes wish that I wasn't so nice. So then, I can break up with her over the phone.

But fuck me.

I still have to worry about the media, and the fans' reactions, but at least I know what I'm going to do. First, I will break up with Ally, then I will come out. Finally, I will ask Dez. But I have to do this soon, don't I?

If I don't, Dez's feelings could possibly change and then, what would happen?

Little did I know, many things could change in a short period of time.


	10. Chapter 10

**Austin**

"I can't do this anymore Austin."

I look at Dez and chuckle. "What are you talking about?"

So, finally after a long week, I asked Dez out. But there was still a problem occurring. When I asked Dez out, I still hadn't broken up with Ally.

Dez glares at me. "You know damn well what I am talking about. You still haven't made any progress with our relationship. You haven't even broken up with Ally! Hell, you didn't even come out to your fans yet!"

"You don't think I know? Ally is touring, how am I just supposed to-" I get cut off with a frustrated groan from Dez.

"Are you listening to yourself? These are all excuses! Just break up with her! This is technically cheating on me, and on Ally. Not to mention all the lies."

"Shut up! I'll figure something out."

Dez glares at me, and before walking out the door, he looks at me and says, "Well, you better figure it out soon because by Friday, I'm done."

My mouth hangs ajar. "You can't be serious!"

"You heard me."

And that was the last time I heard from Dez this week.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Authors Note- Ah! Sorry I haven't updated in a while! School started and I didn't have time. But expect chapters every Sunday from now on! Enjoy! :)**_

 **Austin**

Friday. Friday. Friday.

After thinking, thinking, and thinking some more, I finally made a decision. And since I have no regrets about it, it must be the right choice.

"Austin! Long time no talk! How are you?" Ally says happily on the phone. Wait, how can she be happy from hearing from me? I haven't called her in two months. But as long as she's happy. It saddens me though, because is she still going to have this happiness?

"Hey Ally, um, I have to tell you something. But before you say anything, please hear me out, okay?"

Ally agrees, and I start talking. "I think we, no, I know, we have to break up. This is probably a shock for you.." I sigh, "And I know I seem like a dick for telling you this on the phone but I couldn't wait anymore. It was hurting me, and someone else."

"The thing is, I realized my love for someone else. I love you and all, but it.. I don't know, didn't make me happy? This person makes me feel like I can finally be myself because we both know what happened, and how I can't anymore."

Ally hums. "Go on."

"Yeah so, this person is changing me and probably always had been. Unfortunately, the person has no idea what happened but doesn't care to know and continues trying. But I haven't been aware, and I have been an ass to the person, having him wait a long time for my answer."

"Ir's a him?" Ally asks in surprise. Oh fuck.

"Um. You must be very confused, and I, too, used to be. It's just.." I rub my eyes. "You wan't me to be happy right?"

"Of course I do Austin!" She sighs, "But it's still sort of a shock you know?"

"Yeah.."

"Are you going to tell him about...?"

"In time."

I sprint to Dez's house. My conversation with Ally, thankfully, went well. I am shocked that she accepted it with no hesitation and moved on. Now, I can put that aside and focus on what really matters, keeping my relationship with Dez alive.

But when I get to Dez's block, I wasn't expecting to see a moving sign planted in the lawn.


	12. Chapter 12

**Austin**

I knock on the door frantically, along with ringing the doorbell.

I wasn't expecting to see a random person.

"Can I help you with something?" the man asks in a stern tone. I feel my hands shake, they've been doing that a lot lately. Did Dez already leave? He said that he could give me until Friday, and it's still Friday. Where could he have gone already?

Returning my attention back to the man I ask, "Yes, um, when did you move in here? Was it today? The person who sold it to you had red hair right?"

The man's blank expression changes into slight shock, probably confused by my immediate questions. "Well, the house was on sale for a couple of days now. 2 days ago I noticed it, and the seller seemed very eager to sell it, so I bought it. I just arrived today. Why?"

"Did the seller have red hair?"

"Yes."

"Do you know where he is?"

The man still remains in utter shock. I wouldn't doubt my facial expression is erratic. "N-No."

"Thanks for your time!" I shout and run off Dez's old property. But what has me shocked is, if the guy said that the house was on sale for a few days, why didn't I know? Why didn't Dez tell me?

Why did he just run off?

I sit on the edge of the sidewalk, with my head in my hands. This is all my fault, and almost everything else these days seems to be too. Anger corrupts me soon after. Why the fuck did Dez do that? I broke up with Ally, I came out, my whole career is on the line!

But then again, I should've just told Dez right away and made up my mind. This is a flaw of mine, I put things off that really mean a lot to me because I don't want to see anyone I love getting hurt.

But I always seem to hurt them more this way.

For now though, all I am focused on is finding Dez.

 _ **Authors Note- Hi guys. I'm really sorry that this chapter was postponed for so long. I haven't been feeling well the past few weeks, due to that, I had no motivation for writing and it probably affected the amount of plot in this chapter. I promise that as soon as I am feeling better, I will make a nice long chapter to make up for lost details. Thank you to all of you who are still continuing to read this story, and I'll see you soon :)**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note- It has been a year since I've updated, and I'm so incredibly sorry! In the last chapter, I said how I'd see you guys soon; and in the previous chapter told you guys to expect a new chapter every Sunday. I've failed to do both things. You don't know how much I missed writing! But now I'm back! I plan to finish this story within the next month, and start a new story. For those of you who actually stuck with this story, thank you so much! I'm not even just saying that either. Thank you again, and on wards with the chapter!**

 **Austin**

Relationships can be hard. No, they _are_ hard. There is no way to develop the "perfect" relationship. Unless you're living in a alternate society. The thing is, relationships flourish on how you manage them. If you put no effort into them, they will wither away. Like a flower, when the cold starts to come. If you put everything you have into them, they will continue to grow and change over time.

There is no way to stop that change from happening. But hopefully, that change will work for the best. Just like the relationship I had with Ally. We had a change. It wasn't a good change, but it wasn't a bad change. Now she can move on to someone who can truly care for her with all their heart, and I can move on, too. My relationship with Dez also changed. Like a chain of events, after breaking up with Ally, Dez and I began a relationship. It's still uncertain if it was good change or bad change. Hopefully, the effort I put into this relationship will prove to be for the better.

I found Dez. He did sell his house. Was my delay on finally pursuing the relationship really that bad and long that he thought he should move to finally get away from all this?

I should really start paying attention to other people's feelings.

But relationships are hard, especially for me. You see, I can be quite paranoid of them. I guess that was one of the reasons why I just could not tell Ally I loved her. But even if I did have the courage to tell her back then, I wouldn't have. Since it would've been a lie. I mean, I never really liked her. I like Dez, and probably always have. But for the reason why I'm paranoid, it's my parents. Or it _was._

My parents have never really gotten along. It would sure seem so in their Moon Mattress Kingdom commercials though. It's really funny. I remember back when I was around 8, I heard my parents say how they swore to each other to fake their happiness on the commercials. As well as in public. And of course, in front of me. I was 8 back then, a naïve little thing. So I went up to my parents and said,

"Why would you fake your happiness?"

I don't know why or how it set him off, but that day my dad gave a big slap in the face, and told me to never talk like that again or bring that up again. My mom just sat their, giving me a sickly sweet smile.

Since I was 8, of course, I believed all relationships would be that way. Full of lies, secrets, and hurt. And no one was ever happy in one. And with me being 8, I vowed to try my best to never develop strong feelings for anyone since that seemed to happen between my mom and dad, and with it destroying them, it would destroy me. You must be thinking, "Oh how horrible for an 8 year old to go through such trauma!" Yes, it was horrible. I was very sad and withdrawn for at least a week because of it. But it had some pros. Such as allowing me to detect when someone is lying, and most importantly, to see how full of shit everyone is. From that experience, at least I became aware at a young age.

It seems my life has always been full of disappointments. And now since I finally have things going mildly okay for once, I want to keep it that way. I don't ever want to screw up that badly again.

Dez doesn't know all too much about me. You would guess he would after being friends for over 10 years. But I'm pretty damn good at keeping things hidden. But maybe I should have told him more so he understands my motives, and why I do the things I do. After being closed off for so long, I'm not sure how to embrace this new power. I consider it power since I basically have the power to say all the things I should've said years ago.

The thing is, I'm _afraid._

 **Dez**

My life has always been filled with cheer and happiness. My parents were happy in their marriage, and I was just a happy child.

That changed in middle school.

Middle school is filled with assholes who think they are better than everyone else. They will put you down because they want to be noticed by fellow peers, they have something going on at home so they feel the need to take it out on others, or they are just jealous. Those kids have sadistic little brains. It was unbearable to go to school sometimes.

I mean, it kinda sucks getting your face shoved in dirty toilet water every other day.

Or getting beat up.

Worst of all, the verbal insults.

I had one good friend though and I still have him. His name was, and is, Austin Moon. I met him earlier than kindergarten, and somehow he continued to stick with me throughout my years. However, during middle school, he did not. I mean he was still my friend and all, and we still played video games together, but he just became more distant. I don't know what happened or why, but he always assured me that it was nothing I did. That he wasn't ignoring me because the other kids were. That's the good thing about Austin, he doesn't follow what everyone else does or seems to be doing.

Austin is his own person. And he likes it that way.

But during those middle school years, I'm still at a loss on why he decided to just retreat from me for a while. Not just from me, but from everyone! I should've mentioned earlier that Austin, back in middle school acted that way with everyone. He didn't talk as much or act as much.

The one thing that stuck with him though, was that fake smile.

The smile I absolutely _loathe._


	14. Chapter 14

**Dez**

I'm realizing now what I supposedly believed to be true about Austin was wrong. Well, maybe only some of it. In my thoughts earlier I said how Austin is his own person, and he likes it that way.

That may not be true.

I met Austin before kindergarten at least, and I'm shocked to be questioning what we have now. Well, what do we _have_ now? I don't think Austin was very truthful with me at all.

Everything he said to me, was it lies? Lies within lies?

My real question is though, _why?_ He knows he can trust me, right?

I shake my head and let out an exasperated sigh. I'm on my way to meet Austin right now. He said he has some "important things" to tell me. Is it about those lies he might have been telling me all these years? Most importantly, is it about that fake smile?

I sometimes wonder if he's even aware of it. Has he become so accustomed to it that he doesn't even know how to actually smile?

I hope I can be the person to bring that beautiful, full-of-life smile back on his face.

Austin smiles at me as I walk in his room.

"Hey buddy."

I simply wave.

"What's-"

I interject, "I think you know pretty damn well."

"I don't actually. Why don't you enlighten me on what _you_ think I know?"

"Please, let's not argue. We haven't had a chance to sit down and talk _honestly_ in a long time." I stress the 'honestly', hoping he catches my drift. Why is it though that Austin's mood changes as quickly as ice-cream melts on a hot summer's day?

Austin takes in a breath and looks at me. "I haven't been completely honest with you on many things. And by the looks of it," Austin takes a break to run a hand through his hair, "You've picked up on it."

"I'm not that stupid."

"I never said you were."

We glare at each other. Like two kids trying to intimidate the other.

"Alright, continue please?"

"Alright," Austin says, "I believe I have liked you for the longest time, since we were children most likely. I don't know where the feelings came from. They were just _there_ , y'know? You were always with me, always cheering me on, ready to have a conversation no matter what time of day. You were so beautiful, like a sunset disappearing behind a mountain, or beach, or whatever object it is you go behind. I always hated when you would go behind that mountain."

"What do you mean by 'going behind some mountain'?" I ask, genuinely confused by his comparison.

Austin sighs, "When you began getting bullied. I didn't see that sun as often as I'd like to see it. I hated seeing you go through that."

"Why didn't you ever do anything?"

"You have to understand, Dez, one of my biggest flaws out of all the flaws I probably have, is that I'm always _afraid."_


End file.
